Saturday, October 17, 2009

Brian Kammerdiener and the Slam-Dunk



Someone once told me that on occasion, the best part of a flight would not be the flight at all, but the memory made while in the air. While I found this thought interesting, the gravity of the concept eluded me until years later.

I received the worst call of my life in late May 2008. It was a doctor in Las Vegas, Nevada. She was calling to discuss my brother’s deteriorating health. He’d been in the hospital for a week, but until now, testing had failed to reveal the cause of his symptoms. The doctor informed me that Brian had cancer and things didn’t look good. I was floored, as this was the first time a diagnosis had been confirmed. While I was worried when he fell ill, I hadn’t even contemplated a terminal diagnosis. I slammed my office door, clenched my fist and begged God for his recovery. My eyes watered and my hands shook as I tried to book an airline ticket. I called my dad, and by midnight we were in Las Vegas. When I saw my brother hooked up to machines with more tubes, levers, and pouches than I’d ever seen, my heart sank. My dad and I sat down, speechless and cried.

I pondered happier times with my brother and thought about the way he lived his life. It was not glamorous, luxurious or extravagant. Yet he was wealthy beyond most people’s comprehension. His occupation allowed him time to really live -- time he used to read, relax and enjoy friends and family. He had few attachments, which allowed him to live with minimal worries. Although his carefree lifestyle occasionally caused him difficulties, he had a way of persevering, and living on life’s terms with no pretense or animosity. Generosity and a humble demeanor endeared him to friends and acquaintances alike.

Brian lived for adventure. He once gave me a copy of Jimmy Buffet’s autobiography.
The book chronicles Jimmy’s island hopping exploits in a seaplane. This gift is how I learned of my brother’s affinity for aviation.

I thought back to a day when Brian came to visit me in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. The weather conditions left no doubt as to the manner in which I would pick him up from the airport. I reserved a plane and called Shawn, a gifted flight instructor, who since training me in the summer of 2000, had become one of my closest friends. He jumped at the chance to accompany me.

Shawn and I blasted off from Lee’s Summit into beautiful, cloudless skies en route to Kansas City International Airport. The flight was smooth and short. When we taxied to the terminal, Brian was waiting. He walked toward the plane with his usual “Lima Bean” strut, wearing his signature Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops and a grin from ear to ear. This flight was his first in a small plane. To Brian, it was traveling in style. No car rides; he was flying to Lee’s Summit in a “private plane.”

The sun had begun to set when we departed KCI so we illuminated the instrument panel and marveled at the night sky. The return flight was uneventful until approximately one mile north of Lee’s Summit. I had descended and was about to enter the traffic pattern when Shawn decided to simulate an engine failure. He turned and asked Brian if that would be OK. As always, Brian didn’t hold back, he gave a thumbs-up and said, “Go for it.” I immediately closed the throttle, turned to the final approach course, and quickly configured the aircraft for landing. The approach was steep, fast and exhilarating. We made a flawless touchdown and taxied to the ramp.

Shawn referred to the maneuver as a “slam-dunk” landing. It became a topic of conversation at family gatherings for years. Brian became a raving fan of the slam-dunk and never tired of discussions about it. Seeing his exhilaration made all of the training and expense I’d incurred learning to fly worthwhile. In retrospect, the slam-dunk seemed to have mirrored the part of Brian’s personality that never held back, that little voice inside of him that always said, “Go for it.” Subsequently, the memory remained strong.

The flight we took had no scary or dangerous moments. It was routine. Yet it allowed me the privilege of providing an enduring memory for my brother and me to share. My brother took his last flight out four days after I arrived in Las Vegas. I now believe what I’d been told years before. I can see with clarity how the real joy of flying is not always the act of flying. Unfortunately, the brutal realities of life tend to awaken us to what’s important. Looking back, it’s the smiles, excitement, and the memory that made it all worthwhile. Thanks for the flight, Brian. I love you, and I miss you.

17 comments:

  1. Terrific story! It brought tears to my eyes as I thought of him, and as I thought of your loss. Brian too would have loved it! My guess is, he probably is chuckling at the "slam dunk" part of the story.
    Brian may not have had much of the world's goods, never-the-less,he was truly rich in what really matters: he had brothers that really loved him.

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  2. Dad says...
    A wonderful story of my son and the love he sharedwith his brother Shane.The flight described was always a topic at our get togethers.He also had a loving brother Brent who spent many hours in each others company. At times the three brothers were inseparable.
    Brian was a four year veteran of the U.S.Army. He took his last journey June 4,2008 to be with his Lord and was laid to rest in the Kentucky Veterans Cemetery near Fort Knox Kentucky with full military honors. He is sadly missed by his father and his family.
    GOD BLESS AMERICA

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  3. I can't hardly write I'm crying so bad.I loved my brother Brian "Lima Bean" as much as any brother could love another brother.Brian was the one you could call and say "hey meet me in Ensenada,Mexico" and he'd be there.Brian was the one you could call and say "Hey,I'm coming to town" at the last minute of course, and He'd pick you up in a limo with his last dime. Brian was the one you could call and say " get your a-- to crappy camp. And he would be there.Brian was the one you could call and say get your butt to deer camp and he would be there, at the last minute! Brian loved his family and was one of the most generous persons I've ever been blessed to know. I'm having a hard time again, tears flowing, thinking of this humble man,my Bro. Brian may not have had a lot in material goods but, he was rich in kindness,humility,generosity and love. Brian I Know I'll see you in heaven some day. I love you Brian, forever your bro. Andy.

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  4. Here is a story of the last time that I got to hang out with my uncle Brian. My father's mom and Brain's mom, was to me a don't ask, don't tell situation, I didn't know much other than it had been well over 35 years since they last seen their mom.

    My dad finally seeked his mom out and decided to go visit her. How, why, what and the details of that I do not know. SO, my dad went to Memphis to met his mom. The trip went well so there was another trip planned for next year. My brother B.J. and I kinda laughed about if uncle Brian was going then we were going. This would be the first time Brian had met his mother. I thought he was going to say no so I didn't plan on going, but to my surprise he said yes. So, B.J. and I jumped at the chance to go hangout with Uncle Brain in Memphis, Tennesse...hell it was my 18th birthday...

    The first night we was to meet up with Brian at a resturant with a band. I was kinda nervous since I hadn't seen Brian in quite a few years, maybe it was the fishing trip in MO with everyone, and Mick. I had seen him walk in and he looked around, the people he was meeting he hadn't seen in a couple years he wasn't really sure what to look for. My dad finally got his attention and he started his "Lima Bean" strut towards us. Jackie, my dad's and Brian's mom was grinning ear to ear as she hadn't seen Brian since he was a baby.

    The second night is where my fondest and best memory of Brian stems from. I can't really recall what we did during the day but at night we had cookout at my grand-mother's Jackie's house, which is where we all was staying including Brian. Brian was passing me beers thru the night without my mom knowing.(sorry mom) After everyone went to bed which was around 1:00 a.m. B.J., Brian and I stayed outside and talked for hours. I can't remember what all we talked about but in that little time we hung out he changed my outlook on life for ever.

    Brian really was a man that didn't know no boundries. He truely had a heart of gold and he was loved by everyone.

    RIP Brian Kammerdiener

    Drake Kammerdiener

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  5. Wow Shane, what a great story about your brother. I remember you had talked about him when we worked together in Topeka. If you recall we were suppose to go to Vegas in October of 2001 and you were planning several days with him while we were suppose to be there. I wish I would have had the chance to meet him. Sounds like the type of person, that would leave a lasting impression on you.

    You have always held your family in very high regard, and that is one of the things that I have always respected about you. That family time and memories are so important and can never be taken away. It sounds as if there are many great memories between you and your brother. Hold on to them and cherish them.

    I didn't know that Brian had passed away. I offer my condolences to you and the rest of the Kammerdiener family. I am sorry for you loss.

    Jason Seele

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  6. Dads follow up
    I failed to mention in my previous comments that Brian had two other brothers Randy and his older brother Barry. They were not as close to Brian as Shane and Andy but I know Brian never failed to ask about them and there families when he called me. I know he loved them and that they loved him too. They had some good times growing up in Louisville,Ky.
    May God Bless you all and Brian we all loved you and RIP
    Dad

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  8. Well said, Shane. I have heard bits and pieces of this story over the years now. I am glad to now have heard the whole thing. Sounds like Lima Bean had a great time with you and Shawn that day and you will always have this memory to cherish.

    OBrian

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  9. I know this one was hard for you to write but it is a very fitting tribute to a life well lived. I wish I had known Brian better, but I'm glad to have had an opportunity to get a glimpse of him through this story. Well done, Shane!

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  10. Nice Job. I remember spending Christmas with Brian many a time in Vegas. He truly enjoyed be the tour guide and loved to brag to his friends about his brothers. I can picture Brian returning home and using his own words to describe the events of the flight in his lima bean way.

    Thanks for the story Shane.

    Mickey

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  11. Shane,
    I'm sorry I never met Brian. I remember you telling stories of your adventures with Lima Bean - and the stories always brought a huge smile to your face.

    This is such a touching story and a great tribute to your brother. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Jodi

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  12. Shane,

    Wow, what a story. While I never had the opportunity to meet Brian, I feel like I know him in some unique way. I know I would've enjoyed his charisma and genuineness. I'm sure he feels loved having a brother such as yourself, who would dig deep and share such a gripping story. Thanks for sharing!

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  13. Shane, I had no idea. I'm sorry for your loss. Even without knowing your brother I cried as I read this. Very well written and obviously with much love. Take care and keep in touch.

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  14. Shane, I read the article, and thought it was very well written . . . a superb tribute to the one and only "Lima Bean." I regret that I didn't have an opportunity to get better acquainted with Brian.

    Sid

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  15. Hey Shane - Don Dellario checking in better late than never, Brian and I were friends for many years in Ky in the 70's and 80"s. His love for the Slam Dunk dates back to Dr. Dunkenstein (Darrell Griffith) of the UL Cards and his elbows over the rim exploits. I met him and brother Barry at Big Springs CC where we were all caddies. You get to know someone pretty well hauling golf bags around for 18 holes. Barry graduated to asst. Mgr at Burger King, got a souped up Nova and used to drive us around with loud music and tires squeeling. Not long after, Brian, not to be outdone, purchased a 450 Mercury Cougar where the timing chain broke in Downtown Louisville, where an old doctor gave us a ride home and Dad Ron bailed his now broke son out with a loan to repair it. Later we went to Cincinnati for a memorable trip to see the Outlaws in concert, our favorite rock band at the time. Somehow we missed the 71 exit back to Louisville, got lost on country roads trying to make it back and limped home on fumes broke again as usual but in Kam-shaft fashion, ready to take on the world for yet another fight.

    Brian was not much for school and the rules of conformity that were involved and was more of a quiet rebel. He quit school, got his GED and went to the Army. We traded back several letters while he was in Germany and stayed in touch. He came back to Ky and stayed with Ron, adding a huge sound system that he purchased with his military earnings. His new band was now Van Halen, but he was still the same Brian with a few army shirts here and there. Louisville wasn't much of a boom town when he returned and we both struggled with various jobs here and there that fell short of providing great opportunities. I decided to leave for an opportunity in Los Angeles and shook hands with my friend for the last time in 1985, fully expecting to see him again in the future. He left for FLA soon after and we had a few phone conversations but never got together, which is a real shame. I was in Miami when I tried to look him up but got the dreadful news of his passing. However, Shane's story had some very bright spots including his strong connections with his younger brothers Shane and Andy who I remember meeting a few times back in Louisville. I was very happy to hear that he had established his own co. in the carpet cleaning business. In one of our phone conversations when he was in Fla. he told me he had serviced Estee Lauder's estate house and was real pumped up about doing that. Being his own boss was important to him and allowed him to be the Kam-Shaft/Lima Bean who we all know and love. RIP brother - you were certainly one of a kind and I am proud to have had you as a friend. And as far as Shane, Ron, Barry and Andy we should continue to celebrate the life that he had and luxuriate in the memories that Brian's life provided. Thanks for posting this, Shane!

    Don Dellario

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  16. Sahne here it is 4 years later and I am just noew ifnding out about the loss of our loved one Brian. He took me in on as a significant other, partner and friend in las Vegas. I was afflicted with drug addidiction and Brian loved and honored me as a human being first. It is he Who helped get back to me and my astranged family. He who show me the oasis in he desert, he who feared for my life and longevity for the sake of my two beautiful daughters who had it not been for his chastening and tough love may have never seen their Momma alive again. I weep as I write these words till I can barely see. To little, too late and ironically just in time. I was a dark damsell in distress and he was my knight in shinning armor. My drink of restoring water in the the dryest desert of my life. Oh how I thank God that He sent Brian in my path. If he is listening to or recieving these words of woe, he would say "Hey, fogetta about it" I pray I never, ever do.

    his legacy lives on. Just today someone asked if I know how to clean carpets and I began to tell the story of my friend Brian the carpet cleaner in Las Vegas who taught me all I know about the carpet cleaning business he could.
    Peace ,Love and thanks to you and yours.
    Wanda Ramsey

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  17. WANDA,
    THANKS VERY MUCH FOR THE KIND AND LOVING WORDS FOR MY SON BRIAN. HE IS MISSED SO VERY MUCH.
    I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL. I SHED TEARS EVERYDAY
    IM ALIVE THINKING ABOUT BRIAN
    MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

    RON KAMMERDIENER

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